Spooky Screaming Forest of Coral Spring It was a sniper blue Sunday Morning as I lift the curtain of my eyes to a gifted day of sweet snake head revenge, took my furry kids Heidi & Mimi out at six am to do their organic farming and ran to Parkland to load up on giant live cane toads--frog legs baby!!!
At seven am I lazily crawl through the speed traps of Parkland waving to my favorite BSO who gave me a ticket for going one mile over the speed limit on such a fine day of promise. 
It was a bad Omen to start as I arrived at Sherwood Forest for my rematch with Bush Shark the 14-15 lbs snake head that nearly send me drowning last Tuesday night fishing by myself. 
I have called in my big gun today, Dr. Snake Head himself Dondel to see if we can not set the world record score at 15lb today. 
I sat at this peaceful place next to the cemetery meditating about euthanization, cremation, or donate my sorry ass to science when I saw boiling water at the edge of a dilapidated sulphur lily patch.
I reach into my car to get a dip net and try to catch baby snake head for maybe our S H I T B Dinner at Dr. Dondel this coming Saturday and thank god the holes were too big, Michigan Yeti was looking forward to live sashimi this Memorial Day Weekend; and we invite Andrew Zimmern over for a Bizarre Food Fest!!! 
I was trying to Gorilla glue hooks to the giant cane toad back but they were oozing toxin and jumping around too much; my Alzheimer got the best of me, I have forgotten a bag of rubber band to hold the hooks firmly around their torso without piercing their skin. 
Dondel as usual arrives at nine am with his St. Croix med heavy fiddler stick suitable for playing a Violin at Carnegie Hall but today his performance was a grave misconduct slant on the Bush Shark Snake Head Clan.
The enlightened one brought his Problem Child (Super Heavy Ugly Stick with #16 Fin-Nor reel that is older than PhishingPhanatic and have land so many 11lb and a 13lb snakeheads, sharks, tuna, giant redfish and monster black drum) to rematch with Bush Shark and his 15lbs Bush Shark Clansmen. 
The Urban Buddha has four rods and reels to do battle, the cavalier Dr. Dondel apprehend only one conductor baton to conduct the Snake Head Shark Clan Opera. The Snake head piper prance through the thick underbrush, throwing duds and yoyo tricks that would make "The Big White Grasshopper" and "The Amish Grasshopper" envy with humor; Dondel has lost his game since our last outing. 
This spooky stretch of Screaming Forest was haunted, the bushes keep apparition out of thin air to obstruct the Dondel elaborate and well calibrate throws that would fancy snake at other Patrician location but this Bush Shark Location was not impress. Dondel spent more time unhooking Large Mouth Basses and tree branches of every angiosperms; but this botanist could not be more frustrated with this hired gun performance.
We kept missing world records left and right until he confesses his hedonistic crime to date, he is a matter of fact spring cleaning his tackle box of unwanted, unproductive snake head lures. 
I was wondering about all those spooky lures coming out of his Pandora Box. 
And here I drag him in to assassinate Bush Shark and his 15lb Snake Head clansman for a World Cobra Snake Head Record; we are catching nothing but a boatload of trophy bass and sub par snake under nine pound of dubious distinction…what a crock of bull poop I say! 
I am here today only today for a 15lb snake, this place is already haunted at night and early morning; hell I nearly drown the other day and being a rescue diver that’s saying a lot!! 
Around 11 pm I have caught a total of 24 small snake head to keep my skill in check.
It spell a cursed morning for Dondel, he has caught four large snake head and lost three time that much with his Pandora box getting sparse--he finally just went ballistic with the sandspur of disgust. 
Dondel is normally a quiet and unassuming guy but today what came out of his tantrum mouth cursing in Russian, French that I could pick up but loss me in Polish, German and Pig Latin…. 
....well the BFF Censor folks would have a field day if I scrip it in English. Thank God he does not speak Spanish or we have all the major languages covered!!! 
Man I could send in my two giant snake head plebes KIZ and PhishingPhanatic today and they could have done a better job nailing at least one of the Bush Shark’s clansmen than the expert; there is just no excuse for the Dr. Snakehead to nail a Giant Record; they were literally floating with attitude glaring those demonic eyes at us.
Where the heck that Bridge Sharker Rory is when I need him the most, these land shark are beating us at our game today. 
This got to be the worst day of fishing for the so call two pseudo, self defecating experts--the Giant Snake Head have chew us out and spit in our face a 15lb record not to be award today. By One pm I had enough as we came upon a gruesome large eight pound snake head with its head bashed in, floating bloated near the bank with school of baitfish feasting on its slowly decomposing body. Returning the circle of life rather than stinking on the bank. Something or some one has trespass on our peace and tranquility for the Bush Shark Clan declared war on Dondel and not me!!! I suspect the perpetrator of all that hate bashing in that eight lbs snake head was a White Man, they don‘t take it lightly in this haunted hood.
We penetrate deeper into the morass to excite a record but to Dondel horror the next giant snake just look at him with its tranquilizer eyes, bite his I don’t know what it is cheap lure with a red dot special probably came from Sport Authority, and jump out of the water like a great white shark whack, snap and the tip of Dondel St. Croix rod tip broke and Dondel nearly lost his Stella reel!! 
Remember when you were a kid and a bunch of school bully beat you up and took your school lunch money, well now just imagine that thirty five year later on a man of well orchestrated mean and success look--I thought I saw a glimmer sheer of tears radiant from those Polish blue; yes it was a sad sight I hope I won‘t ever seen it again; it was more painful to bear for me than killing an enemy sniper hunter--Dondel was emotional about his favorite rod! 
Danny Boy let not be hasty and pack up!!!
I hand over my world famous by now problem child rod with the real expensive lazer toad custom for the job. Dondel being the comedian he is smirk, hold it and complaining to me this is a heavy rod and reel suitable for maybe a tuna fleet. 
Michigan Yeti borrows it and land the 11lb Hitler last year. 
I quickly remind him as much as all the snake head brothers make fun of this degenerate Buddha Kantana, Singing Kantana has claim many trophy snake head and if Dondel does not get busy landing Willow Shark, the Urban Buddha will hand in his World Record Application for Obama at 13lb 2 0z…so land the 15lb Snake Head that the author had work so hard sniping. Dondel nearly threw the rod into the canal, I guess he never done any surf fishing and certainly my surf rod Singing Kantana was swanking his immaculate skills. 
Dondel regress to throwing crap again, by now two giant snakes was seen stealth by the bank and we both hide in the bush; stop breathing and farting.
As Willow Shark circle us like some bad SyFy B-movie, Dondel some how surf cast it to the pair through the dancing cattail. 
Willow Shark’s mate was spook and cruise a little distance observing as Willow Shark took Dondel lousy Bass Pro clearance green scum frog (the ugliest I have ever seen) and gulp. Danny Boy set that hook like he has won the Florida Lottery, the fight was on; again greed set in with that Polish Baltic Tuna Fleet Scion. 
Dondel try to crane Willow Shark in but Willow Shark is going to show Dondel who is the authority at this premise. 
Not five feet to landing as I gleefully put the landing net into the water when Willow burst with a twirling swan ballet hit the water and snap Buddha Kantana like a bad chop stick you get at a cheap Chinese Takeout and spit out even that lousy General Tao Chicken of an ugliest frog lure. 
I kowtow to the Bush Shark Ancestor out of respect and Dondel did the same; White Man means no harm….peace. 
I cry in tears at the lost of my Singing Kantana I lend to Dondel, the Shakespeare ugly super heavy surf rod has been with me for ten years and serve me honorably. 
We make haste as the screaming wind pick up and got the hell out of this screaming forest before it got dark, I to another secret lake to meditate with the clown fish ancestor and Dondel went home quickly; the vet called and said Stella his West highlander Terrier will survive from licking my Giant Cane Toad Collection --Oop!!!
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Safeman: Sardina Regere Infans!!!
